Open Letter To My Family Part I (Third Generation British Bangladesh youth)

‪#‎honour‬ abuse ‪#‎misogyny‬ ‪#‎sylhet‬ ‪#‎bangladesh‬ ‪#‎letter‬

My rally call today to all Muslims & Brits - as part of Eid Mubarek is to say enough is enough - let's kick out evil patriarchy & oppression once and for all please?‪#‎equalityforall‬

(Now - for a series of open Choudhury letters from me. One of many to my British Bangladesh London based Muslim family who are utterly UnIslamic).

Open Letter From An Aunt To The Next Generation

Imtiaz Choudhury (20, nephew Brunel University), Nadia Choudhury (19 niece Graveney School), Mikhail Choudhury (16 nephew at Harris Academy, Mitcham).

As I have been kicked out and expelled/ostracised by my #British & #Bangladesh family and community - I wrote via iPhone on low battery. Hence excuse typos or grammar errors. Also I may have your ages wrong as being your aunt. That is not my fault.  You will recall that I was cut off by your parents Nazmin Choudhury and Enamul Haque Choudhury because I dared to once have a relationship with a white man. Who, even though he converted to Islam was never accepted nor welcomed by your parents.

What you three did today and are doing is unacceptable. And why it is shocking is because you were and are being educated to know and do better. That is why your shame must now go public.

You are my ‪#‎blood‬. I loved you so much. Two of you are over 18 and the other on the cusp. Yet you are not decent in action. Today was the last straw as I witnessed you again endorse cruelty and honour abuse towards women. And so I am calling you out. Because I can. I am your aunt. And while like you - I too am Muslim, I stand up to say I am ashamed at your unkind conduct.  I am sickened by your conduct as I know many closed minded people might conflate your cruel conduct with Islam.

I bumped into you three today. Sunday afternoon 19 July at around 2.30pm. By sheer chance. I ran after you. All in your jeans and high street cool labels. You emerged from your car Imtiaz (as you were the driver) aged 21, to visit your British Bangladesh Gran's Rushon Ara Choudhury in SW London. You stared back stony faced at me. How odd to see you now consorting in the company of this woman/Grandmother who cut you all off after she decided to deny her daughter's their inheritance.  This Grandmother was estranged from your mother for almost a decade but in 2015 they are now working together a global team effort which include her only son Naz Hassan Choudhury to pursue a path of criminal conduct, greed, abuse. Yet like lemming you just joined forces with these adults.  

There is one of you walking by me.

You gave me no Salaams or said Eid Mubarek until I spoke. The front door was open and as it would not close behind you (it got stuck) the Allah you all say you worship, fortunately gave me the chance to speak and for you to hear my voice from the street outside. To plead you take action. To look at the bad, cruel, heinous acts your family aka parents,  grandmother, uncle and entire community were doing to not just women but to Islam.

Yet you stay silent.  I then heard you mutter your selfish whinges via the door as you accused me of bringing shame upon you all. Because I am going online and on Twitter to talk about their actions and yours Yet when I asked you to look at evidence and to comment on why your parents have been making poor rural villagers cry - you stay silent.   

I have all three of you taped on iphone film with two of you moaning at how 'unfair' and 'upset' you are. This is what I have to resort to as I am not allowed to speak or voice my concerns.  Your briefly mention you want is a family. Clearly I can see that as you are so desperate you will even take any bad, cruel family.   Yet when I ask why Mikhail, the younger nephew of mine is watching porn online around the same time she was in Bangladesh leading a team of female cousins to bully our poor relatives and a niece who had gotten divorced, you stay silent.  Your mother Nazmin Choudhury is an despotic bully whom again, I have letter from you three where you all support her in slapping an epileptic niece Jummu. 

Outrageous. Yet you whinge that I mentioned these incidents on Twitter when your entire adult family refuse to speak to me.  Won' reply and will not stop.  Like cowards they turn silent after doing the deed. They act vile then hide in their burrows behind their British front doors. They refuse to sit down to talk and refuse to stop being abusive. Refuse to admit their bad actions and then detract by making up lies and trying to slut shame me with false stories about me kissing strange men in Bangladesh. I wrote hundreds of mail, letters, texts pleading they sit down but that coward Naz Hassan never shows his face. It is why I am now proud to be finally naming and shaming you all online.

Today you whinged to me Nadia that you are just 'kids'. That you 'know' no better. No, you are not kids. You are 18 and educated. You have no disability and are hugely privileged. You are not in the vile killing fields of ISIS Syria nor militia run war torn Central African Republic. No - you are in LONDON where you have life, freedom and teachers and friends from a secular society - who work hard to invest into making you better people. Where you were taught to be better as humans. Instead you have chosen to eschew it. 

You three left me standing outside on the street while you sat eating lunch together - while I urged you for over an hour to review evidence and seek dialogue with me. I even told you that this is a great opportunity to stop the bad stuff. To change.  To take courage. To hear and also speak about the evil acts being perpetrated by the 'Muslim' adults in our family who love to preach on Islam.  Namely your hijab clad gran, my bearded brother, and your parents. I asked you to help me, your aunt stop abuse and to help rescue your own British Bangladeshi Muslim mother Nazmin who seems utterly controlled by the backward men in our family but is also a perpetrator of great cruelty. I also asked you to help me protect vulnerable people suffering at the hands of our family. You just munched on eating curry. Oh my gosh.

Imtiaz when you did suddenly emerge to show your anger with me by trying to shut the door on me.  Is that what you do when confronted by the truth?  A few weeks back I had spotted you using the disgusting word used for black people --> the 'n****er' word on Twitter. You moaned: "Auntie - why did you not tell me off privately...?'.  You then whinged how (albeit for the first time in your life in 2014) you did something for me: "I picked you up from the airport Auntie'.  For which I gave you petrol money which you took.

How does that equate with me informing you about hypocrisy?  You think that is acceptable conduct? You then sauntered off not allowing me to speak - to go eat. Yet seem mortified that your mates on Twitter will find out.  Your only concern.  This was despite you being informed for over a year of bad stuff happening via private emails from me.  Of assets being stolen, illegally transferred.  To which you never replied. Despite being sent evidence how poor people in Bangladesh are being bullied by our family (your parents) you carried on larging it up, goofing around on your Twitter timeline. Then because I called you out publically - you still tried to justify using 'n' word. You wonder why I take it public? Because I told you I am cut off and punished by my family - and the people our family are hurting have nobody else to turn to and yes - they are more important to me than your childish, spoilt feckless manners.

Nadia you had already sent me a bitchy email. Mikhail you sat stony faced and refuse to come down. What cowards. How spoilt have you become. I once changed your nappies.

Today - when you three sauntered by me giving me disdainful stares - I urged you for over an hour to listen and review evidence. To help me stop the evil and abuse in my family which you all think is religiously Muslim but utterly un-Islamic. I told you that if you did not I would unleash the truth and spill all publically. As it is in public interest for world to know how and why educated British born citizens can think they behave like this. 

But all my words today fell on deaf ears.

I asked you to stop evil uncle Naz Choudhury. He wears a beard, shouts "Allah Akbar' and is a liar, thief who has refused to honour my dad's legacy to donate 1/3 of his estate to the poor people. Yet you all stay slient. OMG. Refuse to help me get these funds to the poor people and support your parents, uncle and Gran in smashing my charity base.

Nazmul your uncle and his wife Rima Rouf are the the chief architects of criminal conduct. This is why as I have exhausted all possibilities - this evil man's face alongside your dad's will be handed out to London stations now. See postcard below. After all if these two think it ok to smash and loot my charity research base in Bangladesh - as a means to punish me for speaking out - they should declare to the world what they have done.

Enough. You are spoilt, brainwashed and feckless and I refuse to allow you to poison future generations with vile, racist and misogynistic conduct. This is 2015. Grandfather would be ashamed of you.

What next happens is sick.

My mother - in front of you three - today hurled abuse and threatened that her son, my brother (your uncle) will smash my mouth in. You all heard it. Nadia was seen smiling at her Gran and giggling. And urging her to 'Gran think of your weak heart'.   None of you said anything. How do you plan then to protect women? Today I know it is because you won't. You do not value women. I saw that today. Am sickened and why I sat down to write this letter. When I explained poor folks were being bullied & threatened by your mother you stayed silent. Am disgusted. Then after all this - you allowed police to be called on me because your Nan was ringing to complain to possibly your uncle (I think) I was 'mad' and out of control. And that I was screaming and shouting - all which are lies.

I even heard you Nadia tell your mad gran who was screaming slurs at me 'oh gran don't - you will reduce your health'. You Nadia found some of the slurs Nani was saying - funny. In fact when she said i should go get married to female villagers's husbands - you were trying to hide your amusement. Omg.

I kept on asking you today if you wanted to allow evil to continue. Yet instead you sat silently and listened to your gran make racist comments at me. Vile yukky comments about my skin colour. She made threats and launched a vitriolic stack while you three chomped on curry and rice. I, your aunt stood outside. Not once did you even have the cordial conduct to even say hey Aunt ' come in let us talk over tea.'

When I asked you why is it Mikhail YOU could get to watch porn online and tweet it out (see image below) yet your mother and father easily go to Bangladesh around the same time to slut shame village girl such as a Jummu - including your father Enamul Haque Choudhury - having historically called me prostitute before - attacked Nadia for wearing tops that did not reach her knees - you stayed silent. Your father Enam. my own cousin whom my lat father financed and help and is a greedy  - is a disgusting full on misogynist and I am going to make sure the whole world knows about him.

I also reveal again today this incident which you ALL know about - how in summer 2011 British Muslim bearded man and darling of the backward British Bangladesh community we belong to - Naz Choudhury tried to strangle your mother Nazmin in a room full of about 12 Bengali people - and nobody helped her. I was not there and it was kept secret from me. But I have her text.

Had I known I would have handed Naz over to the police myself. Yet you Nadia said to me today 'but... but Uncle came to ask for forgiveness..." He is an abusive, sociopathic liar and a sneaky thief and you all took him back in? OMG.

Wonder why your uncle Naz did not ask my forgiveness eh and went to your mother? Because having flattered your mother's ego and knowing I am onto him and close to exposing his dirty evil deeds - he lied to your mother so he could convince her to go to Bangladesh and undertake criminal acts to try and destroy me. The only woman who continues to doggedly challenge him. As lonf as I exist he risks being exposed.

Lemming that she is - your mother leapt and did what he asked her. And today that is what will destroy her name. She did not check or even call me as like the rest of our community she hated that fact I am strong and independent and refuse to conform. She writes to me asking how dare I take selfies - when her own kids are doing the same. No wonder I exposed the porn being watched as your parents make out you are good Muslim kids. Today your mother has become your uncle's goon. She betrayed her own blood sister and has started to intimidate locals. OMG. Destroying and smashing padlocks, charity money stolen. And how a poor local Disabled man's computer had been stolen and distributed it. Classic subjugation and control by a man who actually lied about being sorry as all he wants is to steal all of the land and assets from his sisters. And to stop us women from becoming empowered. You all are conditioned to accept and collude in abuse - I saw proof of that today.

None of you chose to accept my offer to talk while I was standing outside. You sat and stuffed your faces. Oh the horror of who you have become. I repeatedly said come - ask me questions. But I see and know you want to live In your self-denial bubble world where Superdry, holidaying, playing sports. eating out, Arsenal - is all you think about. This is feckless behaviours. And all this honour abuse in which you three are now involved - is catching up with you all.

I do not plan to lose you - the next generation to a backward disgusting sexist culture that will mean you do the same to another woman in the future.

This is all wrong. It is vile and twisted thinking and this is not any decent's person's idea of a good family. Wake up. Break free from the tribal shackles that you three have been brainwashed into. I told you today I am not going to let it go. Never. Never. Never. Nor do I forget. Until you wake up, fix yourselves - I am that thorn by your side.

So I have reported today's abuse to police. I did so after I spotted you sat and moaned about why I speak out. How I shamed you - and how it was 'soooo embarrassing' your friends got to learn about it. Let's see since then have you changed? No. Did you carry on colluding in abuse by turning a blind eye? Yes. In that case am so glad I name and shame you. You are not kids. You are supposed to be mature intelligent humans with more sense.

So yes, I do dare to take it on twitter (and on facebook) - why?

I do so because bad stuff happens and the adults are lying and keeping the truth from you - so you are in a bubble.

I do so because your father cheated my father (your grandfather) and made him cry and none of us listened to my dad's warnings that great evil (your father) was in our family.

I do so because today I saw you sit there and just stuff your faces and it reminded me this is the vicious cycle of bad and wrong 'uns being churned out.

I do so because I exhausted all other avenues - asking my family to stop and never heard back.

I do so as you are not surrounded by good adults - but by evil adults who wear disguises of hijab and beards to use Islam to hide their abuse - and who are sick in the head.

i do so as I stand for those who cannot be heard and who cried to me because they have nobody else.

I do so because today your gran taunted me for kissing poor rural village women.

I do so because maybe - just maybe you might wake up - given I have no hope for the evil adults in my family.

I do so as maybe one of your friends - might see this and challenge you into becoming better people.

I do because I am disgusted. Ashamed of what you as Muslims have become.

I do so because you were born in UK and should know better. You are third generation.

I do so because I also love you. You were not born like this. You became like this because of your vile parents and our vile community that subjugates, control and annihilates women who do not conform to backward ideas.

Watch me and read my lips. Until you renounce the vile mantra of hate, of backward bangladesh tribal culture - I will speak out.

I even go so far as to say I am sorry but all my British Bangladesh family and you three do not deserve to be in this country. You were given British citizenship where equality for all regardless of race, gender, sexuality; justice; feminism are cornerstones. As it is in Islam. But you eschew it every day to follow rituals and thought patterns that have no place in any civilised society or in Islam.

And I so am now downing my Lovedesh and Amcariza tools - designed to help poor folks - as your parents, my family smashed these (and you three said nothing) - and am going to wake up the world to the secret double lives of British Asian families and youth like you who - from behind privileged closed doors abuse oppress and subjugate poor folks and women - you keep doing it as it is easy for you as taking breath.

Sadly it is disgusting conduct. I must stop it as one day more women will get hurt by the army of family of mine breeding misogynists. I am on the warpath (only with my pen and voice of course) and have nothing to hide. It is not my shame but yours.

And if you still want to come and talk to me - the offer of that private chat is now off the table. Herein you have something to say? Come and explain it to me AND to the world. No more hiding please.

Now for all the photos.

Your loving aunt (you may not think so but because I care I was forced to write this).

Yasmin Choudhury
‪#‎msyiy‬