My Alternative Xmas Gender List.
Friday afternoon. And this is my Xmas list. - 2015 Tongue in cheek, as well as I hope weirdly inspiring? I will let you judge.
After all if John Lewis can do it - so can I. Start the Xmas banter/debate early that is - and the shenanigans and tomfoolery.
So here goes. Things I really do not want... and all delivered to me in time for Xmas. I repeat. Items on my Xmas List I do not want to see again. NO. I DON'T.
And as you can see I am fair to both genders. I am simply calling out experiences with both men and women that I loathe - so here goes things I do not want to see happening in 2016.
1. Note to men.
1. Don't offer me sex when I have not mentioned it. Nor asked for it. Don't. Just don't. It so debases you. Not me as am sitting there thinking "you stupid cretin - how desperate must you be)". If only men who do this - you knew what I was thinking when you offer that. But wait - you have to be a better category then the next lot.
2. Don't offer me sex or try to talk about my body parts - disguised as being interested as helping me in my philanthropy causes. You are the lowest scum ever.
Go be a creep out of my life. Pretending to offer to help me by sending me text messages and then getting upset or distant - all cos I call you out when I call you a sex hungry creep. Or because you are disappointed I did not throw myself at you - and I just ended up and talked business must be a big lemon you are forced to suck on. Tough. I can always spot you. After meeting men like you, (and yes I have the texts) you just love to go all silent because I you soon found I did not follow up with the 'Oh - you are so handsome - and oh (flutter of my eyelashes) - I'll date you or let you debase me by having meaningless sex with you'. Eugh.
I hate that.
So those random men, who having come across my story started harassing me with the whole: 'I wannnaaaa help you Yasmin - let me help you' - I say this. You only waste my time because saddos that you are - you want to have easy, unpaid for and unearnt for sex. The only way to solve this? Just go call a prostitute. Not me.
3. Don't say things like "but you got me all excited' just because I met with you to discuss my start up or help after - you offered to give me. Stop moaning in the hope if I hear you whinge, I might change my mind. Yuk.
In short. I hate men like you. Stay away from me - am off to go thrown pins at a dart board that does not say your name but says 'dodgy sex obsessed men.'
I swear - it is getting worst possibly because I am online and meeting the vapid, stupid men that exist out there who would not date get away with behaving the way they do with women in read life. I never noticed you existed before. And yes. I guess this is the indictment of a modern society where the internet can do anything - from switching on your house lights to finding you sociopathic sex obsessed men who cannot fathom why female strangers who are visible and active online refuse to respond to their sexist, sex fuelled mating calls.
4. Stop telling me what to think. And trying to rescue me from the belief of Islam. It is called the 'white man's burden'. I cannot bear mansplaining- now that I know there is a term to describe something what I have hated all my life. All I see now is men just jumping from online profile to profile (almost with their pants down) waiting to have sex with someone - heck just about anyone. Go get a life. Calm down. Life does not start with sex. And nor will it end with sex (well perhaps for some it does).
5. Stop bating women who have an opinion. Yes. If you cannot stand it - go talk to a plastic doll.
Note to women.
1. Don't bleat on about violence against women - and then, when someone like me is doing something about it, ask me 'ooo are you sure though?". Or worse still you say "what's the point - change will never happen Yasmin." Or to start getting upset because I called out a famous charity that works for women - the idea they have a halo effect is nonsense.
2. Don't listen to my awful horror of a life and then say 'oh my god' and start bursting into tears. Or tell me that you cannot cope. Or worst still - offer to listen and then systematically give me reasons to stop doing what I am doing - because really - you just want me to return to having a 9 to 5 life.
3. Don't stare as if I have two heads when I call bitchy women or faux feminists out - as if I have betrayed the sisterhood. I have not. I have simply pointed out failings. End of. I may be a feminist but I will never ever support bad women. Nor will I ever encourage bad women to hurt good men. Feminism is such a misnoma - wish we had a new name to describe what we mean when we do what we do - and sad it has become such a dirty word.
4. If I happen to comment on Dapper Laughs, the British 'comic' and ask why isn't anyone helping him to become a feminist - does that mean I support him? No. And moreover why are not more women helping him rather than trolling him - after all imagine all the good he could do - if we women who want change did help make him a true feminist. Wake up girls.
To both men/women
Don't contact me after having heard my crisis and sheer horrific life fighting tribal and backward community - by asking me 'hey all ok' or asking me to hang out with you - only to make you feel good when I have already said I am busy fire fighting. The idea of going to the cinema "ahhh just forget about it' when I am in a crisis or to listen to you drone about your life and 9 to 5 job - is not my idea of fun right now. Answers and solutions come first - then I can get some fun. So if you can be a part of delivering that - great. If not - step aside and leave me be. Thank you. x
Note to all the kids out there
You are the best types of humans to exist in this world. Please can we make sure you just live. And stay alive. That is all I ask as after what I have seen of the world and some of the nutty humans out there - there are more bad ones than good. World needs you.
And to anyone who reads this and gets offended? My reply is go get a life. I have lots of amazing people who outnumber such nutters listed here. Of course I do. Sometimes though it is always good to share with the world the kinds of folks that can exist out there. When you happen to be a a lone female social entrepreneur who also has to handle online nutters.
Coming soon. My alternative Xmas list.
Yasmin C - Miss YiY